Current mood:	crushed
Current music:	separated

to the angel who rocked my world...
i'll have to face the fact that to make our lives really better we would have to part ways...

"i've been loving you for such a long long time expecting nothing in return but for you to have a little faith in me."

i miss you.

i say that with all sincerity. my heart shouts out that phrase. i don't know why. it just does.

i should hate you. i should despise you. i should just forget about you. i'll always find better. but all that i can't do. i want to but i can't.

look at what you've done to me.. look at the fool i turned out to be.. all these because you decided to leave me.. because you chose to just give up on me.. because you chose to give up on what was supposed to be "us"..

why haven't you called? why haven't you texted? why haven't you made any effort on checking if i'm still alive? have i been erased? have i been completely forgotten? if so, how did you do it? how did you kill all of those memories? how were you able to just throw away all the unwritten, unstated plans set for the two of us? how? tell me how!!! then i'll do just the same...

this is eating me up inside. i go on with my everyday with a smile on my face and a dagger planted deep into my heart. it is so hard to put on a happy face when you are so sad, so alone, so confused. it is so hard to laugh when your soul is slowly dying from the pain.

i admit i had my share of faults in what had happened between us and i am truly sorry. i just really wanted you to see that it wasn't all just me. we both made mistakes. we stood opposite each other on an issue and we both are full of pride; we made different stands on the problem at hand and decided to stick to them. we contradicted each other and drifted apart. but why did we have to?

i loved you. i love you still. and maybe that's why im still clinging onto that hope that we will find a way to work this out. maybe it's why i just can't let go and forget. walking alone through streets i have once walked through with you, passing by places we've been in a time or two, being around people and friends i share with you, drown me in this very dark and scary pool of misery.

are you feeling the same way? do you think of me before you sleep? do you find yourself talking to yourself while looking in the mirror, asking what happened? what went wrong? do you miss me? do wish that we could just rewind everyhthing and re-do all the ugly events of the past 3 weeks? do wish that i'd call? do you ever wish that we'll just bump into each other, look each other in the eyes, see the love and sincerity, then in our hearts forgiveness and understanding? do you go asking people what to do? do you go out of your way, finding means to get me back? wait... do i actually value to you? what am i to you? that's more important than all the other questions. how do you see me? more importantly, what role do or did you want me to play in your life?

what am i my dear angel? what am i to you bittersweet darling angel? was a game? was i just friend? was i nothing more than someone to pass time with? or did you love me? did you ever look at me and whispered to yourself "man, she's got me hooked"? did i ever have a special place in your heart?

answer! answeres to these questions are what i need. give me the answers and i'll brace myself. i need to know the answers for me to be able to move on. for me to be able to live once more.

time's a wasting... i'm slowly fading... do something...

i miss you.

i say that with all sincerity. my heart shouts out that phrase. i don't know why. it just does.

call. text. write. find a bridge. whatever just do something. i don't care if it saves us or kill the litlle that's left but do something. please do something!!!